KEEP THE LOVE FIRE BURNING (What every husband must know)

KEEP THE LOVE FIRE BURNING
(What every husband must know)
- JOELYN G. GAYARES






I used to be an avid Tagalog movie fan, especially those starred by Vilma Santos and Nora Aunor.
Their movies then were tear-jerkers, most often about wives being underdogs. As I grew older, I realized that such situations happen in real life! 
I felt sad, intensely sad, that I made it an advocacy to make a change in the lives of women. 


Now I am a psychiatrist and putting my advocacy to work: helping battered women and abused children stand for their right. And I am glad, I am doing it!
Housewives, I personally believe, are the least appreciated among the women in the workforce. Some people do not consider housewives as a part of workforce. 
Thoughtless husbands even hurl hurtful remarks on their wives when asked to help in the chores. "I am tired from work" is their unjust reason. 


So this time, I shall talk with the husband. Husbands, housework is a stressful as any other work. Have you tried waking up every early to the market, cook breakfast, 
get the children ready for school, and send you off to work, as your wife does? Then she cleans the house, tidies up the beds, scrubs the toilets, washes the laundry, irons the clothes, 
cooks the meals. Without a househelp plus a baby to care for, her chores often go unfinished and unnoticed.


When the children come home, she helps in their homework, play with them, feed them, pray with the before finally tucking the in bed. And mind you, husbands, your wifes day does not end there. No siree! She takes 
time to listen to your work woes or gives you a massage, takes care of the bills, checks the lights before finally going to sleep. 
By the way, are you aware that your wife works 16 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days per year, with no overtime pay? Wouldn't it delight her then to hear words of appreciation from you?


Marriage is a union. A yin and a yang, as the Chinese describe it. It is not a master-slave or a boss-follower relationship. Many couples forget this fact, allowing disequilibrium in the union, 
with the bigger bread earner or the bigger muscles on the power seat.


Yet, each person is equal in God's eyes... including husbands and wives. No one is an "underdog" where the wife is always on the lean side and expected to lose. Neither marriage nor money can change this reality. 
Each has a role to keep the love fire burning. 1 Peter 3:7 says, "You husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner 
in Gods gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered".


Husbands, marriage is a give-and-take relationship. Express sincere appreciation for her taking good care of you and the children. Help in the house chores. Take her out, if possible, on a weekly date, just the two of you. 
She deserves a break from her 16-hour job that made it possible for you to take on an 8-hour job. Take the opportunity to tell her how valuable she is.


As a psychiatrist, I say, "Husbands, do not batter you wife emotionally, psychologically, physically, or sexually. She has the right to say 'enough' and 'no' when she is displeased or tired."
As a God-fearing wife, I share these trusted pieces of advice: make God the center of your marriage. Have daily family worship. Take time to pray as a couple. Prayer connects you with the ultimate Giver of peace, love, and happiness.
God will help you keep the love fire burning and your marriage going.